restless

tonight this pillow of mine is your chest

and i can feel your heart beat and your chest continues to rise and fall

rise and fall

and the cover on this pillow is your favorite t shirt

and tonight that shirt is soaking up my tears

because you're not here

you never were

and tonight i love myself a little less

because i couldn't be enough to make you love me

tonight i hope you're sleeping well

and i hope that you have sweet dreams of her

because tonight i will be restless without you

i will always be restless without you

hi.

i'm sarah.

i am 19 years old.

i live with my parents.

i am an english major.

i have no friends.

i wear an obsidian ring.

i write sad poems for sad people on the internet.

i am an aquarius and a ravenclaw (if that means anything to you).

i am writing this at 2 am.

i am in love with a boy who only loved me for one night.

i adore pasta.

i have post traumatic stress disorder.

i have watched pride and prejudice more times than i would care to admit.

i have struggled with self harm.

i am fascinated with tesseract theory.

i am over stimulated by physical touch.

i hit the enter key more than i should.

i have lived through the deaths of 23 friends and family.

i lived in paris for a semester and i never really left.

and i am all alone in this world.

yet, despite all of this... i'm happy.

i don't know why.

but i'm happy.