a list of feelings i've had as a woman

when lightning strikes in the afternoon and doesn't make sound, and you're sitting by the window in nothing but an old, oversized sweater and panties and everything is calm
everything is calm inside of you even when your surroundings are in utter chaos
and you didn't brush your hair that morning and you feel more beautiful now than you ever did before

when you're sitting on the floor in front of your mirror and you're slowly applying your makeup and it's never looked more perfect
and all you're wearing is a stained t shirt and your chill playlist is humming softly in the background and you sing along to every word
you have no agenda, no where to go, but you get ready anyway because the brushes feel so good on your skin

when you've had a long hard cry and your eyes are red and swollen and you can feel the dried tears that have stained your face and neck
and your heart beat slows down enough for you to make sense of all the emotions
and after a few minutes you start to laugh as the endorphins kick in after all the turmoil, reminding you that your body will always love and care for the soul it protects

when you see yourself after a shower, hair stringy and long, water dotted across your skin making your look like a galaxy
when your cheeks are flushed with roses and your body curves like botticelli's venus
and you can't help but take in your own imperfect beauty and for once you feel whole

when you see another woman across the street, walking with purpose and with a spark in her eye
you look at her and you already know that she is living her dream
and you feel a strong sense of kinship, that one of your own has made it, that you are proud to call yourself a woman too

when you see your mother after a long hard day, and she can see the burdens weighing down your eyes and she takes you into her arms
she has carried the same burdens you have, but she doesn't have to tell you because you already know
and she lets you put down you bags, hang up your coat, and lay in her arms till you're strong enough to get up and face the world again

when you're bleeding with the moon for what feels like the thousandth time and you wish it never happened to you in the first place
but then it hits you, the realization that you can create life within you, that you are the keystone to all life on earth
and when you see the red you smile, for it helps you remember what you are capable of

when you stand at the shore and you can feel the ocean kiss the sand beneath your feet
and the breeze dances through your hair and the clouds enfold you like a soft, cool blanket
you are all alone, yet at the same time you are with the universe in all it's complexity and all it's simplicity
and the universe reminds you who you are, that you are it's daughter, that you are everything and nothing all at once
that you are everything she is